Child’s Play

My aunt constantly reminds me about my preschool moments when she would pick me up from school and I would tell her about my day. I would tell her about the trouble makers, the math problems, and probably what I had for lunch that day. But I also remember telling her about this one boy who was so mean to me that I couldn’t muster up any other words but “stupid”. He was a “stupid” boy because he was so mean to me and I had no idea why because I didn’t do anything to him.

Now why on earth would this kid who I barely interacted with at all go out of his way to make fun of me as much as possible? Why would he torment this girl who’s never done anything to aggravate him in any way to the point of angry frustration? To the point where the only word that a 4-5 year old me can only muster up the word “stupid” over and over again to describe his actions?

My aunt told me that he treated me like that because he liked me. 

Let’s twist this situation just a little smidgen. Let’s make both kids 13 years old.  Would it be perfectly acceptable for this boy to verbally degrade, tease, and torment me as much as possible? Would that be a way to legitimately get someone to go to the dance with you? Is this an opportune moment to say, “Oh, boys will be boys!” and then smile and turn away?

Let’s twist this situation a little bit more. Let’s make both parties 30 years old and let’s say they’ve been engaged for 3 years. Would it be acceptable to say, “He’s only acting like this because he loves you” when he continually berates and humiliates his fiance?

Allowing these actions to pass by us at a young age is dangerous.  If you let actions slide when a kid is six, how will they know it’s wrong when they’re 10? If you let it slide when they’re 10, how will they know it’s wrong when they’re 18?

The point is if you’re going to teach your children to behave a certain way, you cannot let this behavior slide when they’re young. It’s misleading to let them get away with it for a few years and then suddenly turn around and condemn them for something that seemed perfectly acceptable before. 

Start from the beginning. Instead of just letting bad behaviors go, encourage good behavior. If your little man has a crush, teach him to show his new lady love and compassion. Teach him how to pick flowers for her instead of pulling her pigtails. If your little girl has a cutie on her mind, tell her to share her fruit snacks instead of pushing him to the ground. Teach your children to love and to care for other people instead of dismissing their aggressive behaviors as child’s play. 

Kids will be kids if you don’t teach them how to be adults.